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Joke of the Day

"I tried to eat soup with a fork. It was a strain."

"What was Eve charged with after murdering Adam in the Garden? Being a first-person shooter"

"Henry David Thoreau walks into a bar. The bartender says: We don't serve your kind here! Thoreau replies: Walden. I'll see myself out."

"I ate an entire pack of rohypnol last night and it didn't even affect me... Anyway, gotta go. I need to do some last minute Christmas shopping."

"If you're a douchebag, it's so easy to find the right hat."

"the liberal media won't report that I can easily do 100 push-ups because they are frightened"

"Did you hear about the suspect who was released from jail after he touched grounded metal and received a static shock? He was cleared of all charges."

"Proper punctuation can be the difference between a tweet being well written and a tweet being well, written."

"My bank statement is just a record of everything I've eaten for the last month."

"Do arcades ever clean the joysticks? 'Cause I've sucked on a few and they tasted awful."