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Joke of the Day

"What's the definition of vagina? The box a penis comes in."

"General Lee didn't have kids? A parent Lee not."

"Should I Get In Trouble For Something I Didn't Do... Student: Should I get in trouble for something I didn't do? Teacher: No of course not! Student: Oh, OK great. I didn't do my homework..."

"My ex got me arrested cause I used to sit outside her house all day. She thought I was stalking her but i wasn't, i just had her WiFi code."

"Everything in earthquake-prone areas should be built on top of a giant Tempurpedic mattress."

"First Kangaroo: How do you tell the difference between an elephant and a rhinoceros? Second Kangaroo: The elephant has a better memory."

"If you're worried about not getting a New Year's Eve kiss this year, just remember Valentine's Day is coming up and you're probably going to be alone for that, too."

"If I believed changing my profile picture could change the world I'd change it to a picture of vending machines that dispense tiger cubs"

"ME: [whispering]""Yes, 911? Someone's breaking into my house!"" 911: Stay calm. Do you have an address? ME: ""um no. I have on pajamas"""

"i was reading a story about a proctologist... It hit pretty deep."