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Joke of the Day

"Patient: Tell me honestly how am I? Dentist: Your teeth are fine but your gums will have to come out."

"Why is school like a boner? It's long and hard...unless you're asian."

"I think Argentina is quite capable of deciding who it wants to cry for. Stop being so bossy Eva."

"Bugs Bunny turns 75 today. Now when he says ""What's up, Doc?"" he's legitimately concerned."

"Guy tells a psychiatrist he has a fear of commitment. Psychiatrist says, ""There's no need to worry. I only do that in extreme cases."""

"[At a psychic fair] Psychic: Ask whatever you want to know. Success? Work? Love? Money? Me: Can you tell me where my car keys are?"

"As a Hilary supporter in Colorado, I'm still happy with the outcome of the election. Since proposition 106 passed I can legally kill myself now that trump won."

"What do you call someone who thinks Vikings are the best? a Norsissist."

"Don't masturbate with Crisco. It's shortening."

"Did you hear about the Jewish couple that met during the Holocaust? They were star-crossed lovers."