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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? They named him Sum Ting Wong. *(I'm sorry)*"

"You're how old? *does quick math in head* Ok! I'm not old enough to be your mom ...lets do this! -justifying a bad decision with math"

"I like my women how I like my wood... ...flat as a board and easy to nail."

"My girlfriend is a stoner who works at a hotel fixing whatever breaks. She's kind of high maintenance."

"Juneau what Juneau is the capital of? No?... I guess Alaska professional!"

"Maybe if you knew Garfield's parents were murdered on a monday by anti lasagna activists you wouldn't be so judgmental."

"What do you call a Buffalo Sabres shirt? A Tank Top"

"A blonde is taking money out of an ATM, when the blonde behind her in line says, ""Ha! Ha! I know your password. It's four asterisks."" The first blonde replies, ""Ha! Ha! No it's not. It's 3862."""

"What do you call a porno that involves incest, biology and foot fetishes? Suck Mitosis"

"I replied ""maybe"" to your facebook event out of respect for the inherent uncertainty of life's journey."