226124

Joke of the Day

"I've been shoveling manure all day So don't give me any bullshit."

"[blind date] Her: I was so scared you'd be a weirdo Me [revving chainsaw]: I CANT HEAR YOU"

"Teacher: If you spend all your time sitting round playing on the Internet you'll be fat and useless when you grow up. Pupil: Wow! You must have spent hours surfing when you were a kid!"

"I like my women how I like my milk... Rich, white, and 2% fat"

"How many white girls does it take to change a lightbulb? Well, it has to be an odd number, because they literally cannot even."

"At The Olympics At the Olympics, a man went up to a competitor who was carrying a very long pole. ""Are you a pole vaulter?"" ""No, I'm German. How did you know my name is Walter?"""

"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful. Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so."

"What's the difference between a $1000 used car and a Rolls-Royce? One's a grand car and the other's a grand car"

"The Bible is %100 accurate Especially at close range"

"so i was walking down the street and this homeless guy was like ""hey! give me ten dollars."" and i was like ""got change for $100"""