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Joke of the Day

"Teacher: If you spend all your time sitting round playing on the Internet you'll be fat and useless when you grow up. Pupil: Wow! You must have spent hours surfing when you were a kid!"

Next Joke
 
"Two guys are drinking in a bar... One says to the other, ""Did you know that elks have sex 10 to 15 times a day?"" ""Aww, shit!"" says his friend, ""and I just joined the Knights of Columbus!"""
"What do you pasta with a witty comeback? Retortellini."
"The Goonies went looking for pirate treasure and ended up finding the greatest treasure of all: pirate treasure."
"It's black and hangs on a wire? A bad electrician!"
"A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub.. She says ""Show me it's true what they say about black men"". So he stabs her and takes her purse."
"Why did all the residents of Flint, MI switch from the hip hop station to the classic rock radio station? They wanted to get the lead out."
"Girl, are you pi? 'Cause you are long and sweet."
"What did Adam say to Eve? Stand back, I don't know how big this thing gets!"
"When co-workers ask if the photos on my desk are my kids, I like to say, ""No, they're Dan's from accounting. But they're so cute!"""