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Joke of the Day

"No one will play my mix tape... They say it's a fire hazard."

"Which is faster hot or cold? Hot, cause you can catch a cold!"

"Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work."

"Election Day Drinking Game: Every time Donald Trump is elected President, we all drink and just never stop."

"What did Trump get for Christmas? Stage IV rectal carcinoma with a recto-vesicular fistula so he farts out his penis...hopefully."

"Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time, too."

"What did Helen Keller's mom say would happen if she didn't stop fingering herself? She'd start talking dirty."

"What did the french chef say when the cheese factory exploded? Looks like we have debris all over the place"

"Q: Why did the traffic light turn red? A: Because it saw the other one changing!"

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea. I wouldn't pay $300 to let a lentil on my face."