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Joke of the Day

"What did Trump get for Christmas? Stage IV rectal carcinoma with a recto-vesicular fistula so he farts out his penis...hopefully."

"Don't you love followers that don't acknowledge your existence. Its so cute. Its like I have tiny marriages all over the world."

"Why couldn't the NSA whistleblower leave Russia? He was snowed in."

"Why is it I barely have any signal in my house but the fucking Taliban can upload videos from a cave in Afghanistan??"

"I was going to make a joke... But I fainted"

"I think I'm going to start taking helium People are speaking very highly of it."

"""Two's company, three's a crowd"" - people who've never seen a crowd"

"How much money does the Treasurer of the United States make? All of it."

"A boy goes into a butcher's shop and says, Mum says can we please have a sheep's head..."". ""...and you're to leave the eyes in 'cos it's got to see us through the week."" Credit to Terry Pratchett."

"Some subs... Are not the OP."