153765

Joke of the Day

"What did Helen Keller's mom say would happen if she didn't stop fingering herself? She'd start talking dirty."

"My new year's resolution is to stop procrastinating. . . I'm gonna start tomorrow"

"Dating is a win-win. If things go well, you eat food and fall in love. If they don't, you still eat food and that's all that really matters."

"what's worse than having a cold right before a job interview ? the holocaust"

"I went to the library and asked if they had the book about tiny penises. The librarian said ""I don't think its in yet"". I said ""Yes that's the one""."

"What's the worst part about being a redneck? Having to see your ex at family gatherings."

"Based on the rate of sagging pants, it is predicted that by 2017, people will just pull their pants behind them with a rope."

"I was craving some Indian food yesterday... ...So I went and got subway."

"When a necrophiliac goes to a funeral... He gets mourning wood."

"Farts are like kids. You love yours, but other people's are unbearable."