225975

Joke of the Day

"An enormous monster with eight arms and eleven legs walked into a tailors shop. 'Quick!' shouted the tailor to his assistant. 'Hide the ""Free Alterations"" sign!'"

"Dirty joke What do you get when you put 50 lawyers in a room with 50 lesbians? One hundred people who don't do dick."

"What does Michael Jackson and j.c. penny have in common? Little boys pants half off."

"Q: How many Director's does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Just one more guys I promise."

"I'm going to need to see a warrant before you look through any pictures on my phone besides the one I show you."

"What did Adele say when she crossed the road? *sing* Hello from the other side!"

"Caught my Vegan roommate... Caught my Vegan roommate crying today while chopping onions. These people are taking it too far now!"

"Q: What happened when the elephant sat on the car? A: Everyone knows a Mercedes Bends!"

"What's the best part of a movie? The climax."

"How does a pedophile have a threesome without getting caught? By having sex with a pregnant woman."