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Joke of the Day

"What's the best part of a movie? The climax."

"*camera pans to a pair of sneakers hanging over a power line* *Sean Connery takes a long drag of his cigarette* ""It was a... shoeishide"""

"""Weight Watchers"" because ""Obesity Observers"" was too cerebral."

"I had a soap addiction. Its okay though I'm clean now."

"Where do cows stay when they go on vacation? In a moooo-tel. I just thought of this sitting in my hotel room. Sometimes I feel like i dad joke so hard I impregnate my girlfriend from 100 miles away."

"Boy: Grandma do you know how to croak. Grandma: No I don't think so. Why? Boy: Because Daddy says he'll be a rich man when you do."

"What did the West African boy eat for breakfast? Ebola oatmeal..."

"An e-mail confirming you've unsubscribed from a mailing list is a fun way of saying you're not having the last word in THIS argument, pal."

"By putting the punchline in the title. How do you trick a bunch of Internet nerds into thinking you are a scumbag reposter?"

"What's the difference between a honda and a Porsche? Paul Walker wouldn't be caught dead in a Honda"