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Joke of the Day

"Well it's that time of year again when the 80 a week I invest in child maintenance finally pays off by providing me with a pair of fucking socks."

"Three guys walk into a bar... You think the third guy would have learned to duck."

"What do you call a parrot wearing a raincoat? Polyunsaturated"

"anyone here with one leg? i have a ton of socks you can have"

"God: You finish all 11 commandments? Moses: About the 11th one... God: What? Moses: Check yourself before you wreck yourself? God: Fine, 10."

"What kind of tree would have the best bark? Dogwood. Don't you dare judge me, it was on my popsicle stick. :P"

"Organic chemistry is difficult Those who study it have alkynes of trouble."

"We're in the exact point of climate change as when wile e. coyote runs off the cliff but hasn't looked down yet"

"I couldn't think of any good Arnold Schwarzenegger jokes right now, but when I do I'll be back."

"What did the Hispanic chef say when he went down on his girlfriend? ""Umami!"""