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Joke of the Day

"I couldn't think of any good Arnold Schwarzenegger jokes right now, but when I do I'll be back."

"How come Justin Bieber doesn't like to shop at Sports Authority? Because he likes Dick's."

"What do you get when you breed an elephant with a rhino? A visit from the university board of ethics."

"I bought some Velcro shoes so that nobody can make fun of my velcro wallet anymore because now they will match"

"Blondes What is a blondes favourite nursery rhyme? Humpme Dumpme."

"Popcorn is great but why did we stop there? This is America & I intend to find out what other foods would be delicious if we exploded them."

"My wife told me she is having an affair with Mr. Peanut. I think she is fucking nuts."

"What's the difference between a violin and a fiddle? One has strings, the other has straaangs."

"Pizza. It's what separates us from the animals."

"Why are magnets so arousing? They're very attractive."