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Joke of the Day

"A cop pulls a guy over for weaving across two lanes of traffic. He walks up to the drivers window and asks ""You drinkin'?"" The driver said ""You buyin'?"""

"Knock, knock Knock Knock knock Knock knock knock Knock knock knock knock knock .... Knock knock knock knock knock Knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock Who's there? Knock in his prime."

"I'd like to thank my exs for encouraging me to learn about cars. Like how to cut the break lines, hoses, or discreetly slash a tire."

"Misery loves company. Company: ""I have a boyfriend."""

"What's the difference between Frenchmen and some toast? You can make soldiers out of toast!"

"Why are Asians not optimistic? Because they have a limited view of life."

"I'm busy masturbating when my friend texts me ""What's up?"" With my free hand I text ""Nuttin'"""

"What do you call a woman who will sleep with absolutely anybody? Public storage."

"If someone asks what you're doing today, grab a knife & yell ""SOMETHING I SHOULD'VE DONE A LONG TIME AGO!"" Sounds way cooler than ""Napping!"""

"It's so cute. My kids always say ""I want to help you, Daddy!"" because they don't know the word ""hinder""."