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Joke of the Day
"What do the NFL and Jail have in common? You go in as a Tight End and leave as a Wide Receiver."
Next Joke
"What does IKEA furniture do when it's stolen? Activates its shelf destruct sequence. I'll see myself out..."
"What should you care? My grandfather always said, ""Don't watch your money, watch your health."" So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather."
"Nobody works harder than a drunk person trying to carefully whisper a secret."
"There are 3 kinds of people in the world those who can count and those who can't."
"I think my girlfriend would make a good plumber She keeps bringing up old shit from weeks ago."
"What was the name of the gay porno staring Macaulay Culkin where he became a prostitute in an attempt to pay his mortgage? Homo-loan"
"[creating the armadillo] GOD: I want a half turtle, ANGEL: Okay G: Half pig, A: Okay, I'm on it- G: Half anteater A: ...Are u drunk G: Very"
"I met my grandmother in Mexico She looked familia."
"What was Poppin Fresh's new name after he was put into the witness protection program? John Dough"