197539

Joke of the Day

"[creating the armadillo] GOD: I want a half turtle, ANGEL: Okay G: Half pig, A: Okay, I'm on it- G: Half anteater A: ...Are u drunk G: Very"

"About women... There's only 1 word beginning with B you should ever call a woman, and that's ""beautiful"" - bitches fucking love being called beautiful."

"Did you hear about the kid who brought a home made watch to school? He had a real bad time..."

"Who was the heaviest of the Pharaohs? King Two-ton-khamen."

"Why do people say tunafish, rather than just tuna? Is that to differentiate from the tunacow and tunagiraffe?"

"Did you hear about the new viking movie staring the guy who played Han Solo? It's called Harrison's Fjord"

"Wanna hear a joke about paper? Never mind. It's tearable"

"I cut myself while shaving... Because who... has time... for both. ~Jim Hamilton"

"What did the SS officer say after having his eye shot out? I can nazi."

"What do you call 10 politicians at the bottom of the sea? A good start."