22033

Joke of the Day

"What should you care? My grandfather always said, ""Don't watch your money, watch your health."" So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather."

"""THIS SUB CAN'T EVEN HANDLE ME RIGHT NOW!!!""-what i just screamed in subway as i spit black olives all over a 7 year old."

"I think the guy in front of me is trying to resolve the world's economic issues single handedly at this ATM."

"How are Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd similar? Both's greatest hit was The Wall"

"A salesman knocked on my door today. ""Who currently provides your Internet?"" he asked. I said, ""My next door neighbour."""

"To avoid being eaten by zombies, go to Settings / Home Invasion Settings / Cannibalism / Brains, and then uncheck the ""tasty"" box."

"Apple are finally allowing porn on the itunes store now there's a fap for that"

"Particle physics joke The bartender yells, ""We don't serve your kind here!"" A tachyon walks into a bar."

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the bathroom? Cause the pee is silent."

"Sport Fishermen Are all about that bass"