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Joke of the Day

"Tech support guy asked me to rank my issue as normal, urgent, or extremely urgent. I did a 6min long scream into the phone & let him decide."

"If you're a Sanders supporter at a Trump rally, what protocols do you need to follow? The Protocols of Zion, apparently."

"What was the last thing that went through the fly's head when he hit the windshield? His ass."

"What did cheese say when it looked in the mirror? Halloumi"

"Roses are red, violets are blue.... does this rag smell like chloroform to you? ,"

"By tomorrow, no one will remember what happened in trees today"

"How Does An American Commit Suicide? They jump off their high horse. ^^^ThisIsJustJoke"

"What do you get when you cross a hit of acid with a birth control pill? A trip without the kids."

"Why did Isis cover their bullets in butter? Because the French were toast! This is a joke I made up, along with an alternative : What do Isis eat for breakfast? French toast."

"What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick. My dad used to tell me this all the time when I was little. Still makes me chuckle to this day."