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Joke of the Day

"If you're a Sanders supporter at a Trump rally, what protocols do you need to follow? The Protocols of Zion, apparently."

"Did you hear, John Wayne Bobbit got his penis cut off again? Isn't that redickless?"

"Another reason I find children so menacing are their tiny little teeth."

"How do you tell if you have a high sperm count. She chews before she swallows."

"Why did Donald Trump cross the road? To grab some pussy."

"I hope that Cyber Monday extends to the deep web... Because I'm going to need to a discount on a new liver after all of that Thanksgiving drinking!"

"My friend said he froze himself and as a result his testicles were at -273.1 degrees Celcius... Absolute bollocks"

"My wife yelled, ""This is the LAST TIME I'm going to tell you to take out the trash"", and I thought, thank goodness THAT is finally over."

"DATE: gonna grab my jacket and brb. you look great by the way ME (whispering to my suit made of chameleons): hell yeah keep it up you guys"

"Priest, pedophile and rapist enters a bar... Then he sits down and orders a drink."