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Joke of the Day

"As a child I remember lying in bed with my eyes closed waiting for Santa to come. Then there was the awkward silence as he got dressed and left."

"Jewish jokes. 1: How do you pick up a Jewish girl? - A dustpan 2: How do you get a Jewish girl's number? - Roll up her sleeve."

"What do you call the action where a dead guy falls out of a car and you have to put him back in? A rehearsal"

"Did you hear about the patriotic zombie who wanted to serve his country? He joined the Marine Corpse."

"I discovered the number one reason OP never delivers. #"

"If a cop beats a pregnant woman till the fetus dies, is it a miscarriage of justice?"

"why did god create the yeast infection so women could see what it's like to live with a miserable cunt"

"A polio survivor walks into a bar...... Wait I fucked it up."

"Why do people never eat clocks? Because it is very TIME CONSUMING. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL LMFAO STFU"

"A very lame Hitler Wordplay joke. What Does Hitler hate most about Breakfast? The *Juice*."