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Joke of the Day

"The inventor of distorted mirrors has died. His funeral with be held in asymmetry."

"20 years ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope, and Steve Jobs. Now we have no cash, no hope, and no jobs."

"Went to the shoe store and bought a pair of converse, disappointed they haven't talked back yet."

"2 Jews walk into a bank. Bartender looks at them and says, ""Damn, I'm in the wrong joke."""

"So a giraffe walks into a bar... and says, ""High balls, on me!"""

"I really didn't want to go the dermatologist... ...but my dad told me to face my fears! *thought of this while washing my face*"

"What's the difference between a dog and a cat? If a cat were big enough it would eat you."

"What do you call a policeman on fire? Bacon."

"Why did the chicken cross the road To see the ugly man. Knock knock Who's there? The chicken."

"I baked a cake shaped like Canada, and offered my brother the Quebec slice.... but he's having Nunavut."