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Joke of the Day

"I baked a cake shaped like Canada, and offered my brother the Quebec slice.... but he's having Nunavut."

"I saw a black man carrying a T.V. today I though that it looked like mine, but when I got home he was still shining my shoes"

"How do you catch a polar bear? Take a saw, cut a hole in the ice. Sprinkle peas around the hole. When the polar bear comes to take a pea, kick him in the ice hole..."

"Why do Seagulls live by the Sea? If they didn't, they'd be Bagulls!"

"Due to the impending snowstorm on the east coast The center for Global Warming research will be closed due to blizzard until further notice."

"My daughter has reached that age where she's asking embarrassing questions about sex Just this morning she said, ""Daddy, is that the best that you can do?"""

"I like my women like I like my Christmas Ham... ...bone in."

"Just shook a piece of cellophane off my finger and now I'm exhausted."

"How do you give an ice cube an identity crisis? Drop it like its hot."

"Dude on tv just said, ""Where there's fat, there's flavor."" He was talking about food, but I took it as a compliment."