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Joke of the Day
"What's the difference between a dog and a cat? If a cat were big enough it would eat you."
Next Joke
"Forgot to pack tights so I'm wearing yoga pants with my dress and a long sweater. I look like a crazy cat lady."
"Me: I have no friends My bed: Wow I'm like right here"
"Welcome to Insults Us, you sack of crap. Buy some stuff if you're not too cheap. Maybe eat out of a garbage can. You'd probably like that"
"My Dad's last words I'll never forget the last words my dad said on 9/11 ""Allahu Akbar"""
"It may be illegal to steal kitchen utensils, but what can I say? I'm a whisk taker"
"Grandma: what's oversharing? Me: It's when you talk about your hemorrhoid surgery on FaceBook."
"What do you call a food that turns black people on? An *afro*-disiac."
"Dad asks his kids what the third planet from the sun is called? Kids: - Earth! Dad: - Yeah, but it has another name. Kids: - Oh, dad. We don't know! Tell us! Dad: - Exactly! [drops mic]"
"A son to his mother: Mum, I don't like grandma. The mother: Shut up, we eat what we have!"