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Joke of the Day

"Vibrato: Used by fretless players to hide the fact that they are on the wrong pitch."

"If I had a dollar every time a woman called me handsome... I would have one dollar... thanks mom..."

"The prophet Muhammad, Hitler and Charles Manson walk into a gay bar The bartender runs for his life screaming ""NO! FUCK THIS JOKE!"""

"Two competitive silk worms decided to race... ...it ended in a tie."

"Sexual intercourse: It's just wanking that's got out of hand."

"*playing poker* *my opponent smirks* ""All in."" he says. *pair of aces* *I smile* *throws down a pair of Olsen twins* ""Full House."""

"2016's been bad! But today is definitely the darkest!"

"Accountant after reading nursery rhymes to his young child: ""No son. When Little Bo Peep lost her sheep that wouldn't be tax deductible but I like your thinking""."

"Why do some places have keys for the restroom? They're afraid somebody might steal their shit."

"What's the difference between a fan and a prostitute One Blows air off you and the other blows air into you."