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Joke of the Day

"If I had a dollar every time a woman called me handsome... I would have one dollar... thanks mom..."

"Why was the pedophile so excited by 23 year olds? There is 20 of them!!!"

"How do scientists freshen their breaths? Ex*spearmints*"

"A guy gets a phone call from a girls he likes. She says ""Come over, nobody's home!"" So he goes over, and nobody's home."

"Why Chinese vet never hungry? Dog have rice."

"Today I made an immigration officer laugh He was borderline hysterical."

"My parents have been together for 40 years, and I don't even like seeing the same cashier twice in a row at the grocery store."

"Mom: You need to get a hobby. Me: Like photography? Mom: I don't think stalking the garbageman is a hobby."

"If I could be a woman for 24 hours, I would probably spend most of it telling myself to shut the fuck up"

"How many mexicans? how many mexicans does it take to change a light bulb? Juan."