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Joke of the Day

"Pretty sure the guy who named them ""walkie talkies"" got fired before he could name other military equipment."

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my dad. Not screaming in terror, like his passengers."

"An electrician beat himself with live wires His wife called the police He was charged with battery."

"""Wow, it smells like *sniff* wait what the?"" *Rips blind fold off and sees house burning down* ""Omg!"" Narrator: The power of Febreeze"

"What's it called when a priest is always late? Collared people's time"

"something that I miss about being a child is people asking me what my favourite shape is. adults don't do this.it's a rhombus. u don't care"

"How many angels can dance on the head of a pin? The question is irrelevant, because as soon as the first angel steps onto the head, the tip will rub against the ground, making it pointless."

"Why do white girls always travel in odd numbers? They can't even"

"What do Mexicans use to cut pizza? Little Caesars."

"I see dead people."