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Joke of the Day

"Why was Barbie never pregnant? Because Ken came in another box."

"Interviewer: What drives you? Me: The bus mostly Interviewer: I mean what motivates you to get out of bed in the morning? M: missing the bus"

"Got a $15000 parking fine!!..I didn't see a sign saying you couldn't park on pedestrians."

"I'm such a film buff I can always tell when a fake dinosaur is used in a movie."

"Atilla the Hun, Adolf Hitler and a lawyer are stranded with you on a island ... - and you have a gun with only 2 bullets, who do you shoot? -- The lawyer twice."

"If I ever become a filthy millionaire, I'm gonna string 50 smartwatches together and create a batman belt of gadgets out of them I know it's a waist of time, but it'll be worth it."

"My ornaments are starting to droop. Yeah, time to ask Santa for a new bra."

"I choked on viagra this morning. I had a stiff neck for hours."

"Whoever coined the term ""gross profit"" wasn't getting paid for their job."

"I always eat what's put in front of me... ...and that's why I'm no longer allowed to be a gynaecologist."