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Joke of the Day

"Interviewer: What drives you? Me: The bus mostly Interviewer: I mean what motivates you to get out of bed in the morning? M: missing the bus"

"How to Spot a Blind Nudist How do you spot a blind man on a nudist beach? Well it's not hard, really..."

"Why, yes, I am dressed for the weather. I am wearing a house."

"What did the fish say when it crashed into a wall? Damn! (This is my go-to joke that someone told me in highschool like 7 years ago. Felt like sharing it.)"

"Since the invention of the smart phone, how many times have you clicked a desktop icon once and waited for a response. Ok, just me?"

"I was playing Words with Fiends I scored 50 points for using all my runes, but summoned Pazuzu."

"What's the difference between alcoholism and a lobotomy? I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy."

"What did Tom get when he locked Jerry in the freezer ? Mice cubes !"

"Are knee pads... ... the perfect gift, for givers?"

"Anybody who says they could never conceive of killing another human being just needs to meet more people."