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Joke of the Day

"My son just asked me if cats can have babies when they aren't married and I told him yes, but I honestly don't know."

"Let's raise our glasses. I'll say something then we all touch glasses to acknowledge what I said. We'll name this action after cooked bread"

"I saw a pink bird with a sore throat. Must have been a phlegmingo."

"I dissected a cow's eye in grade school. It was an eye-opening experience."

"At one time I had majority ownership shares in the UK top BBQ company. Somedays I wish I never sold my stake."

"If I'm murdered, I hope I'm able to write out the killer's name in blood and then ""sucks"" underneath"

"How many Grateful Dead fans does it take to change a lightbulb? They don't change it. They just watch it burn out, then follow it around for another 15 years."

"What do you call a cow that plays with itself? Beef Stroganoff"

"definitions of twerk 1. to dance and gyrate in a sexually explicit manner 2. what a native of Brooklyn New York says where he goes in the morning"

"What do you call an Italian guy whos afraid of cheese? Alfredo"