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Joke of the Day

"At one time I had majority ownership shares in the UK top BBQ company. Somedays I wish I never sold my stake."

"Dig a hole all the way to China, poke your head out and yell ""YOU GUYS BUILT THIS SHOVEL IT'S A GREAT SHOVEL JUST WANTED TO SAY HEY!"""

"I like my women like I like my pizza... ...hot, cheap, and on the go."

"Q: How many Pisceans does it take to change a lightbulb? A: Huh? The light's out?"

"What happens when a Jew runs into a wall with a boner? His nose breaks."

"My real mom put me up for adoption because the cat was allergic to me :("

"My grandpa said that my generation relies too much on technology So I said ""No, your generation relies too much on technology."" And I unplugged his life support."

"Do you know why so many American kids die in high school massacres? It's because they're not allowed to run in the corridors."

"What's the difference between a millennial and a mutual fund? A mutual fund will eventually mature and make money"

"want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car"