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Joke of the Day

"Kids are fun to be around. Then they start kicking, screaming, drooling, crying, fighting and then you're just grateful they're not yours."

"Apparently saying 'exist over there' while pointing is not the best way to greet people in the mornings."

"Dogs: OMG YOU'RE HOME! I LOVE YOU!!! Cats: greetings human. as you may have noticed, my food bowl is empty...fill it..I'll be on the couch."

"I have two tickets to the 2017 Superbowl, but I'm getting married that day so I can't go. If you're interested in going in my place, the wedding is at St. Peter's church and her name is Laura."

"I think this sub is dying There hasn't been a post ALL YEAR!"

"How'd you keep an idiot in suspense? I'll tell you later."

"What do you call a lizard that doesn't work? A reptile dysfunction."

"How did the toad die ? He simply croaked !"

"How many Christians does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But only for procreation."

"Racecar spelt backwards is racecar But racecar sideways is how Paul Walker died"