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Joke of the Day

"<joke> ""Punchline"" is not an internal or external command. Attempting a continue... C:\Windows\System32\ taskkill /IM joke.exe </joke>"

"[teaching my 3yo the alphabet] ""Ok what's a word that starts with Q"" cucumber ""That's uh... I don't... let's pick this up again tomorrow"""

"FUN FACT: If every human on Earth was laid out end to end... ...there would be no one left to measure how far it went. &nbsp; ^^credit ^^to ^^@meganamram ^^on ^^Twitter"

"The workers at the inn aren't very friendly... they create a hostel environment."

"Nothing like riding a motorcycle without a helmet. The wind blowing through your hair... the warm pavement on your face..."

"What did the balding thief say in the wig store? Toupee or not toupee"

"What dog can you only find on the beach? A cockle spaniel!"

"Me: I need to know what your office drug policy is. Him: No drugs. Me: Got it... Do you consider the parking lot to be part of the office?"

"sperm is like olives you need to learn to eat it"

"The most important thing about telling a joke is timing"