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Joke of the Day

"Why was being a soprano a requirement to becoming a pirate? It made it easier to deal with high C's"

"I was sad when I learned Steve Irwin died... .. but at least he died the same way he lived: with animals in his heart."

"If you think buying condoms is awkward, try returning them."

"What do Roman Polanski and Bumblebee Tuna have in common? They both come in little cans."

"What is it like, to be standing at the foot of an empty grave, not knowing who will one day be in it? Unbereavable."

"I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit but it wouldn't matter."

"A man got a car for his wife Now, thats what you call a good trade."

"Him: How does my football throw look to you? Me: Like you're good at science..."

"Did you guys hear about that guy that was stealing everyone's power? He's a real Joule thief."

"Who was the first man to masturbate in space? The first man in space!"