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Joke of the Day

"My friend tried to get me with bird puns today... I told him toucan play that game."

"How do you make a duck sing? Put it in the microwave until its Bill Withers"

"I'm not saying I want a divorce, it's just that sometimes 50% custody sounds pretty appealing."

"I just bought a Christmas tree and my buddy asked, ""Are you going to put that up yourself?"" I replied, ""No, I was thinking the living room."""

"What do you get when you cross an insomniac, an agnostic, and a dyslexic? Someone who's up all night wondering if there is a dog."

"I don't always roll a joint... ...but when I do, it's an ankle."

"Kisses are like real estate .... Location Location Location"

"Whats the difference between 3 big cocks and a joke? Your mom can't take a joke."

"took the kids to the park so they could beat each other up in the fresh air"

"I was shopping for shoes for my imaginary friend He was a size 10i"