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Joke of the Day

"I asked my girlfriend at dinner, ""Why are you being so salty?"" Her response - with a flat, even look: ""I've been well seasoned."" I lost it"

"What do the Iron Man suit and Sarah Palin have in common? They've both had a downy inside em."

"Poodles are just angry clouds with legs."

"So most foot longs at Subway are 7$ not 5$. I'm not mad that it's more money. I'm just mad that I sing their tunes of false advertisement"

"Apparently my girlfriend is a lot like JIRA... They're REALLY good for creating issues."

"My friend died when she saw a wild ox wearing a knitted jumper. It was a Cardi Yak arrest."

"What do you call the god of cheese? Cheesus"

"Why do cowboys prefer wienie dogs? So they can get a long little doggie."

"What do you call a Mexican carpet fitter? ""underlay underlay"""

"How do you know if you're a necrophiliac? You get mourning wood."