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Joke of the Day

"I always date mathematicians. That way when they ask why I'm breaking up w/them I can say DO THE MATH JERRY. Oh yeah & I always date Jerries"

"When brains do it it the butt do they call it ...brainal?"

"Chicago launched an innovative new ride-sharing program today and the way it works is some guy stole my bike."

"I like my women how I like my cheese... ...blue, filled with holes, and wrapped in plastic in my fridge."

"What's the one good thing about pedophiles? They drive slow in school zones"

"Him: (on phone) Why are you single? Me: (watching a movie about a killer tire) I don't know."

"I can only handle girls that are a 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 8, or 10 on the hotness scale. Cause 7 ate 9 so they're probably not interested in me."

"What do you call a coin featuring the image of a spaceship and a rooster? Badmintin' (P.s. I'm sorry, this is terrible)"

"I've been trying to sell my child to any house that will take her. I'm a daughter door salesman."

"There's a ghost in the house! CALL DR.BOO!"