22498

Joke of the Day

"You guys can laugh at my cargo pants all you want, but I just walked out of Taco Bell with 350 sauce packets."

"Two guys are drinking at the country club bar... First guy says, ""Hey, you want to go play some golf?"" Second guy says, ""No, not today."" ""Why not?"" ""Because I never drink and drive."""

"the face you make when a stranger's dog starts sniffing your crotch"

"Have you heard about the new viagra eye drops? It makes you look hard"

"What do we want? Race-car noises! When do we want them? Neeeeeeoooooowwwwwwwwwwwwww!"

"The hardest part of the day after running a marathon is finding ways to work it into every single conversation you have."

"What's the difference between a fedora and a fedina? ""A fedina? What's a fedina?"" ""*a-Spaghetti and meatballs!*"" Try it out. Just try it. This holiday season."

"It's sad that we live in a world where we'll add a word to the dictionary if stupid people use it enough."

"How many dead prostitutes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Apparently not 8 because my basement is still dark."

"What do you call a herd of cows masturbating? Beef strokin' off"