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Joke of the Day

"Once you understand they're unwilling time travelers dropped here moments earlier, the confused actions of squirrels suddenly make sense."

"A math teacher ask his students, ""What is 5Q + 5Q?"" The class responds, ""10Q."" The teacher responds, ""You're welcome/"""

"Cats are about as useful as a football bat."

"What do you get if you cross Dracula with AI Capone? A fangster."

"There should be a terrible show about a woman, her mom, and her daughter, all 3 named Jennifer, called ""Jenerations"" on Lifetime or the CW."

"I don't wanna ruffle any feathers here, but... *blows gently on a baby duck*"

"So i was taking a picture of you and your mom and i had to ask your mom to step aside Because I only have 5GB space left on my phone."

"I'm going as president Obama for Halloween this year. I'll tell you you're getting different candy, but it will be the same candy from last year."

"What did the hippie say when he was kicked off the couch? Namaste"

"What do you call a cow that can't make milk? An udder failure!"