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Joke of the Day

"i order a pizza online and under special requests i write: ""tell me the meaning of life"". when the door bell rings there's only an empty box"

"Why do your in-laws become dangerous after a divorce? They become outlaws"

"I like my wine like my women 11 years old and locked up in my cellar"

"Donald Trump always looks like he's just opened a really hot oven."

"What part of the computer the astronaut likes the most? A space bar."

"I fell asleep at 3:45. My 5yo woke up at 6:30. Use protection, young people."

"Why do men snore when they sleep on their back? Because their balls cover their assholes and they vapor lock."

"What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe? Roberto!"

"One day an iPhone is going to explode, and Android people are going to be like, ""Samsung has had this feature for years""."

"Doctor Doctor, my period wont end! I am so sorry... I think that you have caught feminism"