141309

Joke of the Day

"Damn girl, are you a condom? Because after I get you off my D, I never want to see you again."

"Customs officials in Europe recently seized a shipment of cocaine that was addressed to the Vatican. Which can only mean that Toronto Mayor Rob Ford just received a giant box of communion wafers."

"When god gives you AIDS... Make Lemon AIDS!!!"

"One thing horror movies have helped me realize is that as a parent, you definitely want to avoid having demonic children"

"Threw some protein bars in the trash & now the raccoons are bench pressing my neighbors Great Dane in the backyard."

"What are a gorilla's favorite months? Ape-ril and Bananuary"

"My top 5 (in no particular order) 1. 3 2. 5 3. 2 4. 4 5. 1"

"To err is human... To not know what err means is American."

"wondering if our openly racist uncles talk about their non racist uncles like ""u shoulda heard the non-racist shit coming out of his mouth"""

"If there'd been a mix up my uncle could have been President of the United States He was an army undertaker, also known as a 'barrack embalmer' \- Milton Jones"