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Joke of the Day

"Damn girl, are you Chile? ""Why, because I'm tall and thin?"" ""No, because you make my vagina as dry as the Atacama desert."""

"I bought my dog a brand new flatscreen for his birthday today - I even had it engraved! TO SHIBA"

"Whats the difference between an irish wake and an irish wedding??? One less drunk"

"I thought about being a mortician On one hand people are dying to get into that field but i hear its dead end job"

"To the woman who keeps pounding on my door at night, I'm not letting you out!"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bunny ! Bunny who ? Bunny thing is I've forgotten now !kn"

"I bought myself a new hairdryer but it's faulty. It sucks."

"Today is the rest of the world's 9/11 No, seriously, look up the calendar."

"5-year-old: I can't finish my lunch. I don't feel good. Me: OK, then no ice cream. 5-year-old: I'm sick, not dead."

"How can you tell when a politician is lying? When their lips move"