31962

Joke of the Day

"I bought my dog a brand new flatscreen for his birthday today - I even had it engraved! TO SHIBA"

"There is a man with a friend who is a ninja.... The man asks, ""Ninja, can you help me out with this lightbulb?"" The ninja replies ""Shur-i-ken!"""

"I forgot where I threw my boomerang. Oh wait.. It's coming back to me now."

"What's beef jerky? Dried parts of a cow that had Parkinson's."

"What's the difference between... NSFW What's the difference between a joke and a 12"" dick? You can't take a joke."

"What insect runs away from everything ? A flee !"

"Why is it easy for chicks to talk ? Because talk is cheep !"

"Q: What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute? A: Your Job still sucks"

"Why did the hipster burn his tongue drinking tea? Because he didn't wait for it to be cool."

"[first date] Him: You're amazing! I'm having a great time! Me: I will fight you for the rest of this pizza."