2319

Joke of the Day

"To the woman who keeps pounding on my door at night, I'm not letting you out!"

"She was upset when I gave her 4 quarters rather than dollar... It has the same value. It doesn't make any cents."

"What do people typically get at Whole Foods? Ripped off."

"how many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb? None; they're content to wander around in the dark pretending everything's okay."

"What's the difference between a feminist and a vagina? Nothing. They are both cunts!"

"If you can't love the one you want, love someone who looks like them and just squint a lot."

"probably the best joke rn your face..."

"What did the engineer say to the bridge after it had collapsed? I trussed you."

"I laid back last night and admired the sky above me, taking in the beauty of the universe when it hit me... Where the fuck is my roof?"

"I too went to the reddit restaurant... I had to ask other customers for sauce for any of the dishes."