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Joke of the Day

"Know what's the hardest thing about having sex with a Japanese girl? Trying to find an octopus at 11PM."

"I texted and drive sometimes I guess we all do stupid things when we're drunk"

"Kim Kardashian's butt Q: What do you call the space between Kim Kardashian's breasts and butt cheeks? A: Silicon Valley."

"Do you know the between a garbanzo and a chick pea? I've never had a garbanzo on my chest"

"Why did Siegfried and Roy close their bakery? A batch of Tiger bread turned on them."

"What is the difference between homeless people and feminists? Sometimes the homeless get change."

"Why would America make the bald eagle its national bird when all they do is attack things and fly away and nevermind I think I get it now."

"Nobody knows how much work I put into looking only this fat."

"BREAKING NEWS: Wall-Mart is now selling Justin Bieber CDs in the Garden Center. Right next to the Pansies."

"Jehovah's Witnesses are like testicles They come in pairs, one is always bigger than the other, they keep knocking on the door but never get in, and if they do, shits about to get freaky."