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Joke of the Day

"I texted and drive sometimes I guess we all do stupid things when we're drunk"

"Chopping Onions I walked into the kitchen to see my Dad chopping Onions up. As soon as I saw him, I started crying because Onions is my dog."

"If there was a male cow made out of earth... That would be terrible."

"This orange does not taste right... I think I'm gonna put it back in the crayon box."

"Today I met a midget in a KKK outfit. I knew right away he was a little racist."

"I like to do the same thing to my girlfriend that I do with my drum set Pretend that I have one"

"What do an 80 year old smoker and the Japanese House of Representatives have in common? They only have an erection every 4 years"

"My friend asked if I knew what kind of sweater he was wearing. I said I had no idea, he said ""Guess."" ""Hollister?"" ""No. Guess."" ""North face?"" ""No... Guess"" I sill don't know."

"How many Buddhists does it take to screw a light bulb? None. They believe that the enlightenment comes from within."

"What do you call a cow with its front legs missing Lean beef"