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Joke of the Day

"Listen google, it's 2015. I need you to figure out who I'm talking about when I type ""that one guy in that movie I didn't like."""

"What do Margaret Thatcher and Jimmy Saville have in common ? They both shafted minors in the 1980's."

"I read that most accidents happen within a few miles of the house... ...so I moved"

"Did you hear about how they spotted a Nazi in the sea? It's okay, it's just adolfin"

"""TALIBAN OFFICIAL ACCIDENTALLY SENDS OUT COLLEAGUES' EMAIL ADDRESSES"" Apparently, he hit ""Reply Allah"". Heyoooooooo!!!"

"How much lube do you need for anal? A buttload."

"Knock Knock* Who's there? Me open up."

"What is it called when men have sex with each other in the military? Tactical Insertion."

"What does an asshole and a nine volt battery have in common You know it's a bad idea but your tongue is going to touch it"

"My love for you is like a fart. Everything about it is powered by my heart."