198937

Joke of the Day

"I read that most accidents happen within a few miles of the house... ...so I moved"

"WHY DID YOUR MUM ASK FOR FOOD? Edward Macaroni fork"

"The Judge said to the defendant. ""I thought I told you I never wanted to see you in here again."" ""Your Honor"" the criminal said ""that's what I tried to tell the police but they wouldn't listen."""

"For anyone interested, you'll find my complete Windows 8.1 review below: Still sucks."

"You know what they say about location in real estate? Not much but they say it three times."

"Cheap date idea: cut open a pack of hotdogs & squeeze the juice over your lover's body then summon a peregrine falcon with your mind."

"I like to bring bags of winter clothes into strip clubs and tell them to cover up. Then yell how they're embarrassing the family."

"Why do you duct tape guinea pigs? So they don't burst when you fuck them"

"What do all failing students in New Orleans have in common? They are all below ""C level""."

"""I don't understand swimming. You don't see fish going for a walk."""