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Joke of the Day

"Throw stones at people who live in glass houses. They won't throw them back because they've been told their whole life that they shouldn't."

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"What's the Difference between Jam and Jelly? What's the difference between Jam and Jelly? I can't jelly my cock in your ass. Inspiration taken from How I Met Your Mother :)"
"My real mom put me up for adoption because the cat was allergic to me :("
"Klondike bars, Hitler did it for one"
"Judas: C mon Jesus we re gonna be late for last supper Jesus: The what?? Judas: The supper.. we re gonna be late for supper."
"I tried, I really did. I threw my hands up in the air and waved them like I just don't care. Then I realized I do care. Damnit, I do care."
"Why was the geophysicist arrested? He was doing crystal math."
"Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? Yeah, he pasta way"
"How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? Cut the brake lines on his Prius."
"What do Amy Schumer and a tampon have in common? They're both stuck up cunts."