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Joke of the Day

"I eat the free samples at Costco for lunch every day. I'm adding 'enjoys eating out' to my dating profile."

"friendship is so weird.. you just pick a human you've met and you're like ""yup I like this one"" and you just do stuff with them"

"How does Moses prepare his coffee? Hebrews it."

"This joke is brought to you by AdBlock Plus for Google Chrome. Blocking every ad on the internet, except this one."

"Twitter handles are what would happen if the DMV let everyone put whatever they wanted on their license plates."

"Today I heard a critical speech about masturbation It was very touching, to say the least"

"Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? ... Incase he got a hole in one. HEHE one of my favs. Whats your fav joke?"

"What's the difference between mashed potatoes and pea soup? You can mash potatoes, but you can't pee soup. (sorry sorry. Really. I've loved this joke since I was... oh.. six...)"

"Here's a bit of advice for you Advi"

"Why didn't the girl go on a date with the artist? Because he was sketchy."