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Joke of the Day

"How do you get a Kansas alumni off your porch? pay him for the pizza."

"I took my BMW to the mechanic today after a strange light came on. I asked him what it was, as I've never seen it before. Apparently it was called an indicator, does anyone know what it's for?"

"Steven Hawking came back from his first date in 10 years. His Glasses were smashed, he had a broken wrist, twisted ankle and grazed knees. Apparently she stood him up."

"How many Trump campaign managers does it take to change a lightbulb? Hopefully not very many because they keep getting fired."

"Last night a hypnotist convinced me I was a soft, malleable metal with an atomic number of 82. I'm easily lead."

"Closing a browser window when someone walks by my computer is the most Pavlovian thing that I do."

"First thing this morning, there was a tap on my door. Funny sense of humour my plumber has."

"A Georgia State Trooper pulls over a car. He says... ...to the driver, ""Got any ID?"" The driver says, ""'Bout what?"""

"Nobody thinks my march madness bracket will win I just can't see why people would dismiss a team that beat professional organizations last year. I say Golden State all the way."

"This sub is great for learning new jokes Repetition is the first law of learning"